Captain Obvious, or How the Skinny Weight Loss Superpower Was Born

My weight loss story is kinda long, but not that unusual. The most unusual in it is the ridiculously simple method how to lose weight fast. But first things first.

This blog is not about me, in fact. It is about you. It is about solving your problems with overweight, 5-kg-from-modelling-career weight, inability to gain weight, lack of skill to contour your body, a necessity to look killing for the wedding in a month, and so on. But before we can actually talk about all these problems and their solutions, you may want to know my story. So, you will relate and check whether you can trust my experience.

My Story: The Main Reasons for Weight Gain

When I was small and “naturally” skinny, as most children are, I felt very light and strong, and moved around a lot. However, the teen ages stroke me, and the first thing that gave up was my skin. Partially due to heredity in endocrine profile, but mostly due to imbalanced post-soviet diet (if someone is even able to call this “diet”, really, no nutritional culture at all).

Since my skin gave up ground, and I felt really ugly, I immediately decreased my hanging out with friends, and spent most of my time reading books at home. A drastic change in way of life (from moving a lot to sedentary lifestyle) plus imbalanced nutrition, plus heredity and disposition to overweight gave their results. I started to gain weight at the age of 14.


Since I lacked communication, and books were not quite enough to replace normal teenage life, I started to adorn my reading hours by eating. I was an avid reader and not less avid eater. With time, I have developed a strong behavior reflex of eating with reading and reading with eating, only. If I did one thing without another, I became anxious. This stuff lasted for about 4 years. Weight loss was impossible for me back then.

My Dancing Experience Did Not Help

Even the fact that I have been dancing since my early childhood failed to save the situation. Firstly, as soon as I discovered my skin became ugly, I quit dancing. Secondly, my dancing activities have never taught me how to manage weight. This is not weird since I was a child back then, and most teachers would not teach a child to balance her weight. Thirdly, most teachers themselves had no idea how to manage their weight. Only one of them, the first teacher I remember, was a real ballerina, so she knew a thing or two about this stuff.

Binge Eating

While at the middle school, I developed another fabulous habit. I came home from school half hour before the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Charmed series started. I watched the series while having lunch, and since the series lasted for about an hour or so, I continued eating for about an hour. Or so. I managed to stuff my stomach so much that it stopped working, and the next 20+ hours I did not eat anything. I just couldn’t. After that came constipation, but you don’t want details.

My binge eating, as I can analyze it now, was caused partially by poor nutrition. Lacking certain elements (I did not eat so much fruits, vegetables, and other nutrition-rich foods back then as I do now), I ate what we had in the fridge. Still lacking what the body needed, I went back to the fridge and looked for something else. This was like lunch – tea – candy – sandwich – pickles – sausage – sweetened condensed milk – a piece of black bread – patty-cake – and so on.

Need to Lose Weight

After my weight reached 68 kgs (150lbs) being 5,4 in height, I really became aware that enough is enough, and decided to lose some weight. I wasn’t that huge, but I was chubby, heavy, and toxic. Most women’s magazines offered diets. However, I decided that dieting is not an option since I hated and could not tolerate being hungry. So, I started doing exercise.

Stupid Workout Regimen

The main principle of my workout was, as most people still use it, “do more, faster, heavier, longer”, in other words, exhaust yourself and you will obviously lose weight. That seems like a winning strategy, right? Nope. I started to work out 3-4 hours a day, EVERY DAY. I came back home from school, had my lunch, did some homework, then closed the door to my room and exercised. I did everything I knew, everything seen in women’s magazines, everything we did on physical training lessons at school, plus 30 minutes of active dancing by the end of the workout. 3-4 hours. Per Day. Every Day.

No Good Results…

What do you think my result was? Zero. I continued binge eating, which improved a bit due to the fact that I was busy for 3-4 hours each day, but overall, the weight loss was minimal. I remember that I checked my weight every Saturday to see the results for the week. One Saturday, my Grandparents were to visit us.

However, in the morning I checked my weight and found out that nothing happened after all this weak, again. I went hysterical (by that time, due to social isolation, my temper became worse), and that day was a nightmare, with my Mom angry with my behavior, and poor Grandparents confused at what was happening.

…except Bad Results

After some time, I started having acute pains in my knee and ankle (it was my right knee, as far as I remember), to the degree I couldn’t walk. After two-three weeks, my parents took me to the doctor. He checked me, asked about my routines, and stated that due to punishing workouts, my muscles started to tear off my bones on the knee. Nice. Physical training was forbidden for a month, at least.


I decided to try another tack. I was a passionate reader, but reading without eating did not work for me. I could not stop eating, so I just quit reading. At all. Nothing, except the school textbooks. It was my diet, the only diet I could follow at that time. My nutrition was still rather poor, but at least I have not stuffed my face that much.

That was step 1 to the solution of my weight problem – in fact, I faced my addiction, and managed my anxiety and stress in the first place. This is what all people trying to reduce weight have to do as the very first remedy – check what unhealthy habits they have, get rid of them, and manage anxiety and stress that have caused these habits.

Asking “Why” Questions

With more free time, I started to socialize again. I must say I was very envious of girls with beautiful clear skin, long thick hair, pretty face, and especially slender bodies. I will tell the story of my hair a bit later. I was envious and jealous, my skin was still greasy and pimpled, I was overweight, and looked miserably.

I continued to ask myself – why, why am I like that? Why this girl has clean skin, despite the fact that she does not use expensive cosmetics? Why is this girl so slender, despite the fact that she does not follow any diet? That was a huge breach of justice for me.

Blind Mimicking

However, with time I started to notice differences between me and slender girls who followed no diet. I became aware that they have certain common preferences in food, that they do not eat all day long, that they have certain common activity/movement patterns that I can mimic. In other words, I started to research those pretty skinny bitches to hack their system open.

And I did. At first, it was a list of unsystematized observations (I have been keeping a journal since the age of 13, and used to write down literally everything in my life), then I made a system out of those. The system was, if I can put it that way, a blind one, basing on the principle “I have no idea why exactly it works, but it works so follow that”.

Cave Girl Discovers Internet

After I got access to the Internet (yeah, yeah, I got my first PC when I entered the university),  step-by-step I have checked all my guesses and discovered mechanisms behind each of them. I have also found additional tips that fitted my method of losing weight pretty fine. So, dieting and working out are not these simple “eat less food” and “exercise yourself till you die”.

But what is even more important, and I have checked that, the MAJORITY of weight loss methods offered to people are outright bullshit, they either do not work at all (like drinking a glass of water with a teaspoon of baking soda each morning) because they have no physiological background for weight reduction. Or these weight loss methods do not work in the long term; when you have several kgs to lose, this will obviously take some time, and perhaps you will face a plateau stage, so these cheap tricks won’t take you any further than losing a pound or two.

Moving Around and Doing Exercise is NOT the Same

After I managed to lose some weight and improved my body, I plunged into different activities like crazy. To cut the long story short here, my activities included historical archery, tribal belly dancing, hiking, snowboarding, gym, and longboarding. I discovered that just living your life and moving around to school/college/office and back is not the same as physical activity needed for weight reduction. On the other hand, not all types of workouts lead to weight reduction as well, moreover, too punishing workouts even prevent weight loss.

Being Vegetarian Is NOT a Guarantee for Weight Loss

As for the diet, I have to immediately state here that one does not have to become a vegetarian to lose weight. NOT AT ALL, so don’t freak out. Despite the fact that I support a vegetarian way of life an environmentally friendly and also useful for human health, I have actually lost more than 10 kgs before I became vegetarian. So you can totally do it.

I, on the other hand, shifted to the vegetarian diet to manage my skin problems and endocrine profile issues in the first place. It worked; I have also tried veganism, rawism, fasting and juicing, and eventually came back to ovo-lacto-vegetarian diet. What is interesting, while being a vegetarian I also managed to lose and gain weight within 3-4 kgs, so following a vegetarian diet only, again, does not guarantee any results in weight reduction.

I Was Not The Smartest, I Was The Most DESPERATE

The result of all my troubles is that now I am able to manage my weight on an autopilot, making some small improvements on my diet now and then, when I need to look even better. Why I used Captain Obvious as a title? Because the rules of the weight loss method I use are super-easy and kinda obvious if you think of it. But most people tend to ignore obvious things. 

You may ask, come on, there are thousands of coaches and dieting experts out there, each recommending their own ways, do you think you are the smartest? 

I have no diet expert degree, or physical training coach degree (or how the hell is this stuff called). I am not the smartest, really. 

I also never had enough money to follow a posh diet or to hire a coach back then when I needed to lose weight.

But perhaps I was the most desperate to find the decision. Those coaches and nutrition experts you see today have access to information, while I didn’t. It was all field research, and efficient results that I gained were later backed by science – not the other way round. So the only thing you can do here to lose weight is to try this highly practical way.  

If you are struggling with weight loss, if you want to lose weight for a long time and have failed every attempt, or if you haven’t even tried to lose weight because you are afraid of harsh dieting, or you don’t have time – share your problem here in comments, and I will do my best to give you a tip. More amazing blog posts are yet to come, and we will discuss all the problems and difficulties of weight loss in detail there.

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